So I woke up Friday morning much better rested than the previous night. That doesn't mean that I had a full night's sleep; just a more restful one.
One of the things that kept me tossing and turning was the upcoming bone scan test. If that shows the cancer has spread, that's a whole new ball game that we're dealing with. That had me on edge very early in the morning.
I went to work and quickly sought out a couple of friends whom I didn't have the opportunity to tell on Thursday. Nothing like starting the day with:
"Good morning, how are you?"
"Okay. I have prostate cancer."
Unfortunately, there really is no delicate way to tell someone that you have cancer. You just have to come out and say it.
I found it interesting that I really felt compelled Thursday afternoon and Friday to spread the word. Perhaps it was simply because of my own discomfort with uttering the words, "I have cancer." As with anything, however, repetition did make it easier.
By mid-morning, I had made the last of my intended announcements and then turned my attention on the bone scan, learning the timing of its results, and scheduling a meeting with the doctor to review the results.
Oh. And I did some work, too.
By late morning, I was in a pretty good mood and more focused on what I needed to do for my job. (I still wasn't completely focused on my job--just more focused.) I was able to convince myself not to dwell on the results of a test that hadn't even been run yet. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
At the end of the day, I was in a really upbeat mood and decided to head to Cincinnati for dinner and a little shopping. I was in bed with lights out by 10:30 PM.
Welcome
When I wrote that banner above, I was just days into this adventure. I'm a pretty analytical guy, and the simple act of writing every day helped me wrap my head around the fact that I had just introduced the word "cancer" into my vocabulary, and it helped me rationalize my treatment options. It also helped keep friends and family informed on my status.
Those daily updates tapered off to weekly updates and eventually to monthly updates (which I continue to do on the 11th of every month, the anniversary date of being told I have cancer).
I've kept this blog going because I remember how helpful it was for me to hear first-hand experiences of other prostate cancer patients. I wanted to return the favor by sharing my own journey in order to educate others and increase prostate cancer awareness.
But I wanted it to be a truthful sharing of details, so you will quickly see that I didn't sugar-coat much of anything. That means that you'll find some pretty graphic descriptions of the male anatomy and biological functions in this blog.
Finally, if you're reading this as a fellow prostate cancer patient, please understand that I am not a medical professional, and you should not construe any of the content of this blog as medical advice. Each case is unique, so please solicit the advice of your own medical team.
I wish you all the best as you go through your own journey.
-- Dan
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