Month 49 - Dating After Prostatectomy?

Thanksgiving has come and gone, and Christmas isn't that far off.  The holidays are upon us.

Normally, I'd travel to see my sister and her family back in Chicago for the holidays, but this year, my new job has me working over Christmas and New Year's, so I'll be staying put.  Alone.

Sure, I'll spend time with old and new friends, but it's still not quite the same as being with family.  That brings me to this month's topic.

I was single when I was diagnosed with prostate cancer, and I'm still single now.  While I would like to be in a relationship--to create my own family--I keep getting hung up on the, "Who would want to date a guy who has difficulty getting it up and can't ejaculate" thought.  Because of that, I haven't bothered to jump into the dating pool.

Sure, sex isn't everything in a relationship, but it does count for something in most.

The other confusing thing to me is when in the dating process to tell a potential partner that all the bells and whistles in the sex department don't work as they should.  Early?  Late?  After you jump into bed?  "Surprise!"  I don't know.  (Feel free to post any thoughts in the comments section or send me an email through the Contact Me page!)

I guess perhaps the best thing to do is just throw myself into the pool and see what happens.  I may not need to say anything until I see that things are moving in the right direction but before they get too serious.

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On the physiology front, I've had a couple of days since my last post where my body apparently got pretty tired and it didn't take much to set off my stress incontinence--even just standing up from a chair.  That was a bit disconcerting, but I really think my body was just telling me I needed some more rest.

I'll be going for my next PSA test the first week of January, and should get the results by the 13 January.  (I may delay next month's post a couple of days to get them.)  This will be 8 months from my last PSA, so hopefully all is well.

http://dansjourney2014.wordpress.com

4 Years Since Diagnosis

It's been four years since sitting in my urologist's office and hearing those life-changing words: "You have cancer."

It's been quite the journey, and this blog has helped me get through it.  Sometimes, I think that I should stop blogging and close that chapter of my life, but that chapter will never be closed.  I don't obsess about having had cancer, but I don't shy away from the topic either.  Increasing education and awareness is important, and I'm on a quixotic mission to do just that, one reader at a time.

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Google's Blogger was a great way for me as a blogging newbie to get started, but I feel that my time on Blogger is coming to a close.  My creative juices have been flowing, and I've wanted to come up with a cleaner, fresher, more contemporary blog, so I've decided to move my blog to Wordpress:

http://dansjourney2014.wordpress.com

Hopefully, you'll like the new look and continue to follow my journey there.  I'll probably run both blogs in parallel during a few month transition period before I stop posting here.

Month 47 - DNA Blood Test Might Identify Status of Prostate Cancer

So Prostate Cancer Awareness Month has come and gone, and hopefully more than a few men got smarter about prostate cancer or, even better, got screened by their doctors.

Here's an interesting development in the research that may help better define the effectiveness of treatment options:

DNA Blood Test Might Identify Status of Prostate Cancer - Prostate Cancer Foundation (PCF)

As far as my own situation is concerned, I'm just living life with my new normal.  Really, there haven't been any changes for better or worse, so not much to report.

Month 46 - Views on Cancer Awareness

Okay.  Buckle up.  I'm climbing on my annual cancer awareness soap box.

Seeing pink on the the Chula Vista Fire Department's Facebook page today made me see red.

I want to see powder blue.  Especially in September.

Why CVFD would post this during National Prostate Cancer Awareness Month is a bit perplexing.  (Actually, not really.  They just want to get a jump start on fundraising with October being Breast Cancer Awareness Month.)

One in seven of those male firefighters will face prostate cancer, and they apparently choose not to acknowledge it; they choose not to spread awareness; and they choose not to fight something that can directly impact themselves.

Why?

I'm not a marketing guru by any stretch of the imagination, but the Susan G. Komen Foundation certainly has turned its cause into an empire through effective and ubiquitous marketing.  Everywhere you turn, there's a freakin' pink something-or-other reminding you of the scourge of breast cancer and the need to cure it.  Hell, watch an NFL game next month and you'll see 300-pound linebackers wearing pink shoes.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not downplaying breast cancer at all, nor am I condemning the Susan G. Komen Foundation's success.  In fact, just the opposite.  Prostate cancer awareness teams have to take a page from the Foundation's marketing playbook.  But it may be more than a marketing issue.

Is there a stigma associated with prostate cancer that prevents people--men--from talking about it?

If so, how do we eradicate the stigma so that we can eradicate the disease?  How do we get men to realize that it's not only okay to talk about prostate health, but we should go out of our way to talk about it.  There's nothing embarrassing about it.

Do we show them stories like this reporting the death from prostate cancer of San Diego's Bishop Cirilo Flores, who was diagnosed in April and died in September?

http://www.utsandiego.com/news/2014/sep/06/diocese-bishop-flores-death-catholic/

It's not all doom and gloom.  The Prostate Cancer Foundation and others like the Safeway Foundation have been more visible with their efforts to increase awareness, even since I was diagnosed almost four years ago.  That's good.  But we need more.  Much more.

And this little blog with its almost 15,000 clicks isn't going to change the world of prostate cancer awareness by itself.  (Although I will keep tilting at that windmill...)

Time to climb down off my soap box.  Thanks for letting me vent.

Manhood for Good

Finally, lest you think I'm bashing our firefighters, especially today, I'm not.  I have a tremendous amount of respect for what our first responders do, day in, and day out.

Remembering 9/11

September is Prostate Cancer Awareness Month

September is Prostate Cancer Awareness Month, and even thought there's been a lot in the news lately about changes in screening and treatment options, it's still critical that men educate themselves about prostate cancer.

I had no clue that I would be introducing "cancer" into my vocabulary nearly four years ago, but I did.

It happened after a digital rectal exam during a routine physical that I had put off for a couple of years.  That day changed my life and was the beginning of this journey.

Please take time in September to talk to the men in your lives about this important issue, and ask them to learn a little more about it.

Month 45 - Living Life

Wow.  I was so busy living life that I forgot to post earlier today!

That, perhaps, is the best indicator of how things are going a little more than 3.5 years out from the surgery.  Sure, I still have little hiccups along the way (occasional stress incontinence and some sexual function issues), but life is good.

So I'll try to do better next month and be a bit more punctual in my posting.

Month 44 - LARP at 42 Months

On July 4th, I was three and a half years out from my surgery, so I added a new page:

Life After Radical Prostatectomy - 42 Months Later

It's pretty much a reflection of my new normal, so please check it out.

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Interestingly, about a week ago, I had three consecutive nights where I was running to the bathroom to pee about 4-5 times each night.  I'm not sure what was up with that, but it made for some cranky, sleep-deprived days afterwards.  I wasn't drinking any more than I normally do, so it wasn't as though there was extra fluids to process.  Odd.  Oh well.  Back to sleeping through the night.

Month 43 - June Prostate Cancer Fundraising Activities

It's been a pretty normal month since my last update.  That's good.  That means there is life after a radical prostatectomy.

But as far as this month's blog update is concerned, I got nuthin'.

There are, however, a couple of major fundraising activities going on in June to support the Prostate Cancer Foundation and its research.  And because those activities are ongoing or are about to happen, I'm going to publish this post a few days earlier than normal.

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The first is the PCF Home Run Challenge, where you donate either a lump sum or a specified amount for each home run hit in 98 MLB baseball games between June 9th and June 15th, Father's Day.

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Once again, the Safeway Foundation, part of the Safeway grocery store operation, is supporting prostate cancer awareness during the month of June.  Give what you can if you shop at Safeway or Vons.

Month 42 - PSA Results

It's funny.

I didn't even think much of getting my blood drawn for my six month PSA test on 30 April.  Just went in, got stuck, and went on my merry way.  No biggie.

Or so I thought.

Afterwards, I was checking my online health record twice a day looking for the results.  Hurry up and wait.  I guess modern technology has all made us wanting instant gratification, and when we don't get it, we get upset.

Once a cancer patient, there's always that little cloud of "What if?" hanging over your head.  I don't get nearly as worked up about waiting for the results as I did for my first post-surgery six month check, but it's still there.

So the results?  Still undetectable!  :)

I actually have my appointment with my urologist on Tuesday to officially go over the results.  I'm sure we'll talk about incontinence and sexual function, too.  [Edit 5/16/14: The urologist doesn't want to see me for 8 months instead of the usual 6 months.  Next PSA: January 2015.]

Oh.  And Happy Mother's Day to moms everywhere--living and departed.

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Note the new contact form to make it easier to shoot me an email if you have any questions about my experiences.

Month 41 - Biological Update

We're going to jump right in with this post...

BIOLOGY AHEAD

My niece and her three and a half-year old daughter came to visit for their spring break, and we were able to get out and do a lot of fun things together.  By the second day, my niece was chiding me about how many times I was going to the bathroom, and that got me to thinking, "Am I going more than usual?"  Or was it just her perspective.

In retrospect, I probably was running to the bathroom a tad more frequently.  Mainly because we were on the go, outside in cool air a good chunk of the time, and I never knew where the next bathroom might be, so I took advantage of using the ones nearby.  (And, no, I'm not talking every 20 minutes.  It was every couple of hours.)

As I explained to my niece, it's more that I have the urge or sensation that I need to go, than I actually do.  When I get to the bathroom, not much comes out.  Fortunately, the urges aren't the, "Oh my God, I need to find a bathroom in the next 30 seconds or I'm going to pee in my pants," kind of urges.  But they're there and they're telling my brain it's time to go when my bladder really could last a bit longer.  That can be frustrating.

And on the sexual function front, I've been quite pleased there.  I've had much better erections (near 100%) in the last month--all without chemical assistance.  Not bad for having only one nerve bundle.  As I've said before, be patient; let nature do its thing.

So that's it for this month.  Quick and simple.

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Late update: I'd encourage those recently diagnosed to read a comment left by another reader, J.R., on the "Life After Radical Prostatectomy - 36 Months Later" page.  It's an interesting perspective, and I tend to agree with him.  Losing sexual function is more difficult to adjust to than many people, including myself, thought it would be.

Month 40 - State of the Science

So I've been hopping on the Prostate Cancer Foundation's website a bit more recently, just to keep myself abreast of advances in research and what's happening in the world of treatment options.

Each year, they host a Scientific Retreat with doctors, scientists, and researchers from around the world, and they discuss what's currently happening in prostate cancer research.  Here's a link to the 2013 meeting's events and topics:

State of the Science Report

It provides a summary of what was presented and discussed in each session, much of it in medical mumbo-jumbo over my head, but there was one session's summary that caught my eye on pages 85-87:

Session 13: Measure Twice, Cut Once—What is the Proper Role for Surgery in Prostate Cancer 2013?

Obviously, having had a radical prostatectomy, it's an interesting read for me (not that I can change anything at this point).

I have to admit that there are days where I'm not so sure that I would make the same treatment decision if newly diagnosed today, given the recent advancements in the forty months since my diagnosis.

Don't get me wrong.  My quality of life, post-prostatectomy, is quite high.  My stress incontinence issues are a minor nuisance, and my sexual function issues would be a bigger factor if I were in a relationship, but I'm not.  I guess I'd be happier if I were 100% in both departments.

So I often weigh those nuisances against the larger picture.  With each six month PSA check-up that comes back "undetectable," I have peace of mind knowing that the cancer is no longer inside me.

The question becomes one of trading one set of concerns for another.

If I opted for some other treatment option and was 100% continent and had 100% sexual function, I'd be happy in both those departments, but then would I be trading that happiness for worrying every day that the cancer cells left inside me (even though they've been treated with chemo, radiation, hormones, or something else), are one day going to go crazy and ultimately do me in?  I don't know.

It's a tough call, and a very personal choice.

Again, I made my decision and am living with its consequences.  But the key word is living.

Month 39 - Encouraging News on Ability to Determine Aggressive Prostate Cancer

For those who have been regular readers of this blog, I hope you like the new layout.  Things were getting a little too cluttered, so I added a new column just for the blog's administrative links (left column) and kept all the prostate cancer-specific links in the right column.  It should make it a tad easier to navigate.

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Well, I'm past the head cold that I had and back to normal activity without pads.  I will have to admit, though, that even after the worst of it passed, I seemed to be a little more leak-prone for some reason.  But that's calmed down, too, thankfully.

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There's encouraging news about having a better ability to determine whether prostate cancer is the aggressive type that can kill you, or the less aggressive type that can be observed under active surveillance.  You can read about that in the previous post (re-blogged from the Prostate Cancer Foundation site).

This is important.  It will help avoid over-treatment of prostate cancer, subjecting men to some of the side-effects of a treatment regimen that they may not have needed in the first place.  Of course, men will still have to overcome the thought of living with cancer inside them, always wondering if and when it may spread into something much more difficult to deal with.

Improving methods to identify indolent versus aggressive prostate cancer - Prostate Cancer Foundation (PCF)

Improving methods to identify indolent versus aggressive prostate cancer - Prostate Cancer Foundation (PCF)

New Look

Welcome to the new look of my blog.  That foggy, misty background was getting a bit too depressing--there is life after prostate cancer, after all--so I decided to do a little mid-winter housekeeping and clean up the appearance and layout of the blog.

Enjoy!

Month 38 - Back in Pads (Temporarily)

First, happy 2014!  A new year, and a new beginning.

January 4th marks three years since my radical prostatectomy, so I've added a new page: "Life After a Radical Prostatectomy - 36 Months Later."  You can access it from the link on the right side of the page.

As far as last month's post is concerned, I'll keep the blog going every month for now, and play it by ear as the year progresses.  Thanks to those who offered words of encouragement, either privately or through comments.

Finally, another birthday has come and gone since last month's post, which is just fine by me.  They're only numbers, and it sure beats the alternative.  :)

Remember, the American Cancer Society's motto is that they are "The Official Sponsor of Birthdays," and they're a great resource to use.

BIOLOGY (AND PHYSICS) AHEAD

Okay.  It's been a while since I've used that little warning symbol.  

On a return to visit my family over the holidays, I managed to pick up a head cold as a nice supplemental Christmas present.  Of course, with most head colds, there's sneezing, coughing, and just plain misery. 

It's the sneezing and coughing that reintroduced me to Newton's third law of physics: For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.  Big time.

Let's just say that every big sneeze and violent coughing up of mucus that had drained into my throat or lungs, caused enough urine to leak out the other end that I found myself back wearing pads for the worst days of the cold.  Not fun.

So my advice to you is to keep that package of pads handy for just such situations if you still suffer from stress incontinence.  (I still have a package of the standard men's pads that Depend put out, but now I see they have smaller, thinner pads, too.  It may be worth giving them a try.)